Blog: Face Off With Your Fears & Grief

I was protesting Christmas after my Me-Me died. I just wasn’t going to do it, I didn’t feel ready to go there, I would cringe by all of it! But even though I was bah, humbugging FOR GOOD REASON, no one else cancelled the holiday with me. Department stores looked like Buddy the Elf had done their décor, they played every sappy song including all of Me-Me’s favorites… it was ridiculous. Starbucks changed their coffee cups & had those freakishly cute ornaments of mini Starbucks paraphernalia (which is brilliant by the way). At every turn the holidays were haunting me in every corner. I had decided not to come home for Thanksgiving from Nashville (where I was living at the time). I let my mom know my plans of passive aggressively ignoring my pain by avoidance. This went over as well as me tattooing a tiny Starbucks cup ornament on my body would have LOL.

So, I quickly yielded to my mom when I realized how she wasn’t going to let me retreat. So, finally I decided to embrace it & celebrate. I was amazed that after that first thanksgiving & Christmas were over it was empowering. It was like I had participated in the Olympics in my emotional advancement & conquering of this. Of course it still hurts deeply to not have her in my life. She knew about my daily world. Then she was gone. But now I’m celebrating her & honoring her & not forfeiting the opportunity to continue her recipes & traditions. Bam. Pound it.