Freedom from hurt is WORTH the hard work of forgiveness! In this episode, I talk about how I've learned the importance of doing whatever it takes to keep our hearts right so we don't act WEIRD! When encounters with different people or things trigger hurt, it's important to take the time to get to the root of the pain. When we do, it's actually possible to have a heart free from bitterness, strife, or hurt!
Here are some tips on how to forgive that are covered in this episode:
1. Let's be committed to consistently work through our issues
2. Be honest with ourselves: if someone walks in the room & we cringe, we probably have some residual pain & therefore forgiveness issues to work through
3. As much as it's up to us, work to resolve the situation with someone
4. It's hard if the other person doesn't want to talk about it. But even if we can't work through it with the other person, we can still do the internal heart work to forgive & move on
5. There is more to the story so remember the person who wronged us may also feel we did something weird
6. We all have odd behaviors! So let's work to cover people's crazy with love
We were all created with equal worth. It's up to us to recognize & place that value on each other. Everyone needs basic human value, honor, decency & dignity. Let's get in the habit of treating everyone with love & respect.
So much fear can start to surround things the longer we avoid them. It's like we get in a trap where we can't break free but then once we face off with it we see it's completely irrational! The relief that comes from completing tasks we are avoiding is unmatched. Dismantling these blockages brings true relief that leads to real progress! We are worth more than letting avoidance constantly steal our joy. Give yourself the gift of a breakthrough and face off with your fears!
What actually determines our mood? Genetics? Circumstances? Food? Conflict resolution skills? This week we talk about the combination of all of the above & how we can work to improve how we feel. So many components are factored in to the filter we see the world through. Let’s start to dive under the surface to have better days & ultimately a more positive life.
Every successful athlete has a coach. Most business minds feast on constant tips & tricks on how to improve. How much more should we surround ourselves with help for our LIVES!
Fear is something I’ve had to face off with my whole life, but I believe navigating our fear is what has the potential to bring true success. All of us deal with it to some degree, & I am happy to talk about my process of facing off with the inner battle & entering into the things we are designed to do! Those deeper assignments are worth getting to the bottom of FEAR!
Whatever is going on, wherever you're at, whatever the dynamics are around you, there's a reason for the season you're in. Our lives aren't about always trying to get to another place or to have someone else's life, it's about learning to be content with where we are! Every stage has great things as well as hardships, so learning to relax & have fun where we are truly leads to a satisfaction that is unshakable.
One thing I’ve been observing lately is my autopilot. When I am fighting for myself & at my worst what are the weird behaviors that I fall into? The stuff that is deep down at the base of who I am. A lot of that comes from a mindset I picked up or a belief I decided to agree with along the way. Now I’m focusing on truly examining what I believe about myself & the world around me so when I’m at my worst I’m still operating from a good place.
I’ve learned to stop & identify the motives behind my choices. Why am I posting this, saying that, wearing this, giving that, etc. Truly searching for the heart has helped me gauge my decisions. I’ve also learned to build boundaries & not try to be the hero in every situation. Instead I work to be led by that gut instinct where I’m doing the right things based on the right intentions. Saying NO to the wrong things is saying yes to the right things! Now I’ve learned to pull back & focus on the things I’m SUPPOSED to do.
I heard that people don’t care what you say as much as they are impacted by the way you make them feel. In my own life, I’ve found there is so much truth to that! Words are important, but we also must consider the bigger picture of how our lives are truly impacting others.
It’s easier now than ever before to voice our opinions on every issue & let ourselves get emotionally involved in battles that aren’t even our own. I’m constantly noticing people who are so invested in “winning” every fight, when in reality the fight doesn’t really matter to them all that much. Winning is about being in unity & harmony with those around us. Choosing our battles wisely helps us keep that perspective in check AND helps save our voice for the things that matter most to us.
If we aren’t careful, we can become overly-familiar with other people, ourselves & even the world around us. When we become used to something, we starve it of value & lose sight of how important it is. Let’s work to be conscious of this & fight against it! Anything in our lives can give us inspiration if we let it.
No matter how old you are, what level of success you have reached, regardless of your personality – someone is following you! This blows my mind. Somebody said to me years ago: be careful what you say because people are listening. Let’s remember to take care of ourselves so that when we show up, we have something to offer. Staying inspired & rested helps us to lead from a better vantage point than when we are exhausted. So, whatever it is that you’re working to accomplish, first pull back, recharge, stay up to date on your big picture goals & then show up & give it all you’ve got!
When I’m in the initial creative part of a project, I feel like I’m in a jungle finding my way in the dark. I LOVE & NEED honest perspectives from people who see things differently than I do - but not until the right time. I’ve learned that it helps me when I pull back & ask myself, “Where am I am wanting to go & what is the ultimate goal?” If I know where I’m going, I can lead people better on how to get there.
Keep getting up! Every time you get knocked around by circumstances, remember how important it is to continue to fight! So much monotony can blend the days together & we can easily veg out on Netflix. While that has its place, let’s remember that the greatest ground is gained with daily diligence - so let’s work to make it fun!
The holidays are supposed to be one of the happiest times of the year, yet a lot of pressure & weirdness come through the adrenaline rush of it all. During this holiday season, I am working on not being stressed out about things that are beyond my territory of control. So much joy & freedom comes with letting things go that we can’t fix! Let’s work to trust that life will land as it should & when things don’t happen as we expect, let’s be resilient and bounce back quickly! Things have a way of working out - even if it’s not as we see it!
When we’re really upset about something, it’s easy to find a way to take it out on something else instead of dealing with the actual problem that is getting to us. We will get mad about traffic or laundry or a rude person at the store, when really we have deep issues in our hearts that need to be processed. I want to encourage you to be vulnerable & speak the truth about what is really going on, instead of projecting your problems onto the lesser things in front of you. (And of course we do this in a wise fashion & at the right moments with the appropriate people.)
No matter what is happening around us, we are the ones responsible for the condition of our hearts. When weird people & situations come our way, we can maintain our own peace. Staying in a place of rest & trust not only helps you, but helps everyone around you. Peace is contagious! Let’s operate from it!
As the oldest of four siblings, I take great pride in taking care of them as well as other people around me! But we’ve all grown up. They don’t need me like I think they do & I’ve noticed it’s a habit of tending to everyone still. I have learned this can be a strength AND a weakness. I’ve been working for years to establish healthy boundaries in my life & it’s still a daily discipline! There is an art to saying no, both externally & internally. Let’s work to be free of the guilt of others’ expectations on us.
Whenever there’s a backup plan in my mind, it’s easy for me to fall back on it & not give my best in the A-game. To really accomplish the dreams in my heart, I’ve found that it takes a “I’m not going to quit, no matter what” attitude. If I have a plan in my back pocket I just don’t fight for the primary things in my life.
Why do we decide to be toxic about situations? Is it more interesting that way? NO! Let’s have a good attitude! Our lives are just a string of days all paper-clipped together, so why not enjoy them? There is both good & bad in every season of life. Let’s work to focus on the good & make a good attitude our habit.
I’ve noticed a social trend where people will try to force others to like what they like. Why do we do that? What makes life beautiful is how unique & different we all are! It’s one thing to help others be better, but it’s another thing to try to conform people to your will. How weird is that? Life is better when we honor & respect each other & we appreciate the different colors in the crayon box.
I believe in setting up ourselves to succeed. To me that means staying true & being the best version of ourselves. I don’t know of anything that contributes to that goal more powerfully than honest ACCOUNTABILITY. Even though this lifestyle has its uncomfortable conversations, I would have it no other way. I choose the awkward pain of growing over the comfortable life of stagnation any day!!!! I’d rather have a hard conversation & be confronted with blind spots that I need to change, than live my life not knowing I do something weird or annoying! True relationships love each other to the core & fight for each other to really be better.
My ideas used to be very connected to my feelings. What I was contributing to the world creatively was very emotional BUT I have learned my value cannot be found in what I bring. If our self-worth is completely wrapped in the ideas we present, it becomes more about us & how we feel than it does about advancement & progress! Let’s work to find our identity in what TRULY matters so that we can create safe environments where people are free to contribute & change as they go.
Man, life is hard sometimes! I am doing the best I can with what I’ve got over here & I want to share a few valuable secrets I’ve learned along the way. There are so many daily habits we can implement to help us navigate life’s troubles & keep a positive outlook. This week I’m downloading some more of my strategies with you! I know we are connected & it’s important to fight so we can remain present & have something good to contribute! Let me know what you do for happiness!
Of all the Winnie the Pooh characters, I’m naturally Tigger: happy, excited, buoyant & in love with life! Even though I’ve had a tendency toward finding the positive, that doesn’t mean I haven’t had my painful seasons! We ALL go through times of darkness which can lead to isolation. BUT when life starts holding us under the water, we can fight our way to the surface! I have a few go-to strategies that I maintain daily to help me survive through those seasons & get back on the SUNNY side of life!
It’s easy to spend SO MUCH time comparing ourselves with others & even ideal versions of ourselves. We think about where we’d be if we had someone else’s life, or if we had taken that one opportunity twenty years ago, but the truth is that no one is exactly where they thought they’d be! We are always in transition from one season of life to the next & each season brings its own set of challenges. I don’t want any of us to waste one more second in regret & worry. Wherever you’re at, whatever you’ve got going, enjoy your season!
When I was younger, I always assumed people would eventually grow out of odd social dynamics, but over time I’ve found out that it takes work! Observing the behaviors of others (& MYSELF!!) has made me want to be better & never stop developing. Let’s work to respond the right way in tough social situations. We can overcome offenses, be vulnerable & push forward – no matter what!
Whenever I make a mistake I’m so thankful to be on the receiving end of mercy! When people have something come up & they can’t pull off what they have promised or committed to – I work to live by the golden rule! Treat others how you want to be treated! I do believe that the way I handle other people with be extended back to me. So that understanding acts as a compass & a guide on how I choose to quickly cover others with love & grace & to not hold grudges! Let’s choose to live a lifestyle of letting people off the hook, genuinely loving each other & forgiving quickly!
It’s so easy to be pulled in a million directions – it’s much more difficult to stay focused & intentional. If we’re going to make the impact we’re supposed to, we need to dig deep & figure out what we should put our hand to, how to efficiently design our lives & what can be delegated away.
The whole concept of putting everyone else before yourself looks great on paper, but for the long game it just doesn’t work. We have to take care of ourselves so that we have something to offer all the people around us!
There will always be a million obstacles between you & progress! Circumstances are never ideal & if you’re waiting for perfection you’ll never move forward. You have to just do it anyway!
It really helps me to understand we all have a different capacity. What completely derails me might cause someone else to rise to the occasion. I have learned we all are growing & it brings so much understanding to circumstances when people are acting crazy to remember we are all in a process. I want to increase my capacity like a container than can hold a lot, so I can help share the weight with people. It helps me to realize we all have different things that freak us out & that it’s all relative to each person’s capacity & ability to carry things.
This is our fourth & last round of Q & A together & we cover all kinds of ground this week! On a lighter note this time, we talk about everything from hobbies & childhood memories to winning over a room & my favorite between vanilla & chocolate!! 🍫😍 Enjoy!
These are some good questions stimulating some deep answers! This week we talk about defining moments in life, never quitting, communication & confrontation. I laugh, I cry, I’m honored to bare my soul here but DANG HAHA! I lost my filter when I lived in Nashville for 4 1/2 years so you’re right into my heart pretty quickly with the answers to these questions!
This week is Part 2 of our Question & Answer sessions together! This has been really fun! For this round, we talk a lot about relationships: what to look for in a true friend, seasons of isolation, healthy vs. toxic relationships—we go deep! This stuff is tough to navigate, so it’s important to discuss it!
I had some of you submit questions and I had so much fun answering all of them! Check out the first installment of our Q&A sessions from some of my podcast listeners where I talk about everything ranging from conquering fear to how red lipstick is a girl’s best friend!
Why is it that when I’m empty I try to solve the world’s problems & figure out my purpose for existing? Haha! I have learned that when I get depleted, I get tempted to try to make big life decisions… and that’s when I tell myself, “NO thinking allowed!” It won’t do me any good to try to figure things when out when I have nothing to bring to the table. We are better if we take intentional time to step back, reset ourselves, refuel our tanks & come back at it with a fresh point of view.
My natural inclination is to celebrate, but in the busyness of life, I can forget to stop & get excited about the accomplishments in the process! Let’s commit to being INTENTIONAL about taking a moment to stop & acknowledge the process & mile markers along our way! Let’s set up the fireworks, book the mariachi band, set out the confetti… & do whatever it takes to make the party a priority in our lives & to honor the people that help us get there. They are in fact the most important part of the process anyway!
I hate when I think one thing then discover something else is truly going on! I’ve learned the hard way to make my intentions clear from the beginning! Usually we will go into situations thinking the other person knows exactly what we’re thinking, when sometimes WE don’t even know what we’re thinking! When we keep our expectations a secret, there is so much room for disappointment & hurt to creep in. Let’s be upfront & honest from the beginning!
Conflict is inevitable; it will always be there! So instead of working to win, let’s labor for peace & for each other! It’s so important & the more we engage with people, the more opportunity we have to grow in this area!
The process of taking ground can be so grueling! It’s rare that we actually FEEL like we’re advancing! But moving forward isn’t about “feeling” like it… it’s about DOING SOMETHING every day in the right direction!!! Make sure you’re headed in the right direction, start somewhere & do whatever you can think of to accomplish something TODAY! You won’t regret it! Eventually you look back & will be amazed by the ground you’ve taken even if it feels like the smallest bit in the daily grind.
I no longer save my markers for a special project because I noticed they all started to dry up! SOO I’ve learned every day is special if I decide it is. Today deserves our best! Clear out your closets, face off with conflict & light your candles! If we spend our lives “saving” the things we’ve collected, they will dry out, become outdated & ultimately go to waste. Don’t wait – CELEBRATE! #cheesy 😆
It can be exhausting to stay healthy & present in life! The more days that go by, the more I understand why people just check out. BUT when it comes to MY life – my ONE & ONLY PRECIOUS life – I want to invest every day wisely. We’re only as good as our days are, so why not fight to make them great? When something weird happens let’s choose to bounce out of it quickly!
People are fascinating & have so many awesome things to offer! My parents always treated everyone with equal value. I didn’t know how unique this way of living was until I was in my 20’s. Everyone is of the SAME worth as each other — not because of what they can do for us, how much money they have, or what influence is attached to them. They’re of high value because we are all created equally. With this approach to life, we can learn from anyone!
This is an area I wish I knew nothing about. But it seems like we constantly are bombarded with opportunities to be derailed by offense. I’ve taken on people’s offenses like a proud soldier feeling like I was supporting someone I love, but I have learned the hard way that that’s not the healthiest thing to do! SO now I work to help people I love to overcome their offenses by bringing meaningful perspective & to get offenses out of my heart – uprooted from the core ASAP! Offenses come – overcoming them is a skill I am continuing to develop & a habit I am striving to live by DAILY… Life offers new scenarios that pop up for us to keep ourselves right & tight in this area! It’s worth it!
Fighting for ourselves to get into a healthy place is a necessary battle. It’s so easy to go to an extreme of either (1) pretending like everything is fine, or (2) just giving up. But we are all in this together. When we work to honestly acknowledge and then overcome our dark places, we can be in a position to help others when they get lost in theirs. It’s worth the fight!
I’ve been taught that what I do each day matters. What we do when no one is looking is what will naturally come out when other people are around! I’m working to develop good habits in my daily life so that I truly become (to my core) who we want to be! Seems easier to maintain a habit than a façade. (And much less exhausting!😅)
Being a dreamer can be overwhelming! Not knowing how to get from “here” to “there” seems like a common issue. I work hard to break down my huge goals into tasks, so my daily life reflects actual dreams put into action!
Before we are age 10 most of us are already convinced we are whatever label we’ve been given. Creative, athletic, scientific etc but I really believe we can develop way beyond where we’ve been shoved into a category. Some of us were told that we aren’t creative, but I don’t believe that! I view creativity is a part of every aspect of our lives! In problems we face, let’s embrace this untapped potential inside of us & allow our creative heart to go & find answers. Even if you don’t believe you’re creative at all!
You are only as good as your days, & I want to work to make the most of mine! Instead of letting life toss us around, let’s decide “This is who I am, this is where I’m going, & I’m determined to keep my peace and my joy!”
It’s so easy to let the little things get to us if we’re not careful! Where you place your value has the ability to effect you emotionally. I’m working to be careful with what I invest in, what I put weight on & what I allow to influence my joy!
Let’s have the hard conversations! There are times to face off with life! Instead of avoiding that situation, I’m working to go straight to that person, to that task, to that conflict, & address it with an open heart & through the filter of love.
Living deeply & having the dream life that we want takes self-discipline, self-reflection & evaluation. I heard John Mayer say “skip the party now so you can go to better parties later.” Longing for something you’re not working towards is so disheartening. Let’s decide to live with a different standard now so we can so our long term goals come into fruition.
It’s really easy to quit & it’s really hard to stay.
Any successes I have had so far have come from finding a way forward. It is imperative to figure out what we can do day by day to advance.
I’m a huge dreamer but I’ve learned to put legs, work, timelines & dates to my imagination. Battles are won minute by minute. Figure out what you can do today. Get prepared, do everything you can think to do, then you show up & keep showing up to your projects.
I’ve realized that every part of life has highs & lows & I work hard to not let my emotions be led by every single thing that happens. Every day let’s work to enjoy the good, work through the bad, & keep growing.
The greatest thing we can do for people around us is to be the best version of ourselves. The flight attendant’s direction to “put the oxygen mask on yourself first, then help the people around you” is true! Also if someone is drowning, stay on solid ground & throw them something—so you have leverage instead of them pulling you down too. I’m working to take care of myself so I have something to offer! Let’s stay in it together!
My niece Lyric doesn’t know her limits. I’m watching her do things she shouldn’t be able to do but she does them anyway because she doesn’t know she can’t! Each of us have our own road. Comparison just weighs us down, makes us tired & creates a separation between us & the goal. Instead, staying our own course & being true to ourselves is the recipe for true advancement.
I’m on a quest to be the best I can be—as Hallmark as that sounds, it’s the truth! I don’t want to be applying the same techniques that don’t work for years & years: that only breeds frustration & not advancement. We all have blind spots, ways we need to improve & change in order to see greater levels of breakthrough. Excuses are not our friends. They are our enemies that will keep us from living our dream lives. Today, make a way not an excuse!
So many things—social media, the news, advertising—are feeding us subconsciously.
If I’m going to be inundated with messages, I want to contribute as much as possible to choosing the content. I ask myself how I want my behavior to change. Then I work to feed my subconscious whatever will support that change!
Today we talk about doing whatever it takes to stay inspired. We’ve all had “writer’s block” & that overwhelming feeling of not knowing what to do. But when we refuse to make excuses & stay stuck we can create momentum & hope! One of the ways I build momentum is to surround myself with vision & inspiration—like going to an art museum or art store, taking a walk, or going to a movie. Whatever it is that keeps your head in an interesting place, keep looking till you find it, because everybody has different things that will keep them sharp & inspired.
Figure out the next tangible step you can accomplish today to get unstuck. Nothing creates hope like forward motion!
I’d rather have the pain of change than the comfort of stagnation even though I cringe while type that! Pain doesn’t mean you are going in the wrong direction; a lot of times it means you are on the right track. Resistance is what causes our muscles to grow! I encourage you to be open to do whatever it takes to grow this year & to not be trapped by things that hold you back! Let’s do it together!
1. I figure out my vision. Once I know the direction I’m headed, it’s so much easier to figure out what steps to take!
2. I bring someone else in who understands me & I talk things through with them. This exchange hasn’t ever failed me; I buzz with to-do’s after talking things through with someone I trust!
3. I don’t procrastinate—it causes me too much anxiety so I face off with things so I just conquer it.
Life flows where your energy goes. And whatever it is that you are investing in—time, emotions, money—that’s where your life will go. I don’t want to invest my life into white noise. I want to make my days count!
While I was on a trip to Italy, my new friend Francesco downloaded observations he made about Americans while he hosted their vacations. He gave me some fascinating perspective that still inspires me to live satisfied in the daily life.
There are people who change the temperature of the room both positively and negatively. Today I talk about a conversation I had where I left standing up a little straighter, just wanting to be the best version of myself. Some people put others down by saying “you didn’t know that?” to make themselves feel better but people with confidence want everyone to win.
It’s so important that we live ready. All of our little daily decisions add up over the course of time to make a big impact—either negative or positive!
Let’s do our best to draw our identity & worth from things that are meaningful & not let stupid things matter so much.
1. Finding our purpose is more simple & less mysterious than we sometimes make it. Whatever life brings to us, whatever we develop, can be used for good if we let it.
2. There are multiple ways to get to the same destination so don’t be devastated if you lose your way or if you don’t know where to go. Just keep doing the thing you know to do next & take that step.
3. Remember, there are good & hard things in every season of our lives. Let’s take a deep breath & celebrate every day.
1. INSPIRE: Isn’t it the worst when people try to motivate with fear & manipulation? That is a turn off to me for sure! Instead, I work to keep an open hand & if someone can be a part of the project, great. If not, no problem. This ultimately brings in an enthusiastic group – instead of a group with attitude!
2. MOTIVATE: Find out what is important to each person & let them make a contribution to the project or vision according to what they are excited about!
3. EQUIP: Communicate the vision & the map of how to get there to your team (family, co-workers, etc.) so everyone can see clearly where you are headed together.
Fear has been a constant presence in my life but I do not let it lead me. It’s taken a long time for me to get the volume turned down, but finally I can keep it in its healthy place in my life. A healthy fear of bad situations is a good voice when it comes to navigating dark parking lots & manipulative relationships, but not when it comes to stepping into who we are supposed to be. Fear you are not my boss!
LOVE is the most powerful force on the earth! Today I’m talking about being brave enough to love. Being vulnerable is a risk, but I believe it’s worth it every time.
1. Let’s love each other for real & not through fake smiles.
2. It’s worth it to me to be able to feel & risk the pain of close relationships.
3. Through this form of selflessness, we find true freedom in loving the people around us in a deep way.
Even though it’s scary, I’m throwing away my masks & filters to allow access to my heart.
Whatever it is we are thinking about is what we start speaking and living out. You can change! Get your heart in line with where you want to go by changing your thinking.
1. THINK IT
2. SPEAK IT
3. DO IT
It’s so easy to make excuses and wait to advance until circumstance are perfect. But they’re never perfect…not one time! So we just need to start today.
1. Start with what you have.
2. Start with who you’re with.
3. Start with where you’re at.
I come clean with my people-pleasing tendencies, telling the story of how I faced off with some weird behavior of mine!
1. Projecting upset on things that I’m not really mad about to hide the thing I AM upset about.
2. Giving gifts freely with no strings attached instead of having my feelings hurt if someone doesn’t like what I give.
3. Loving people how they want to be loved—not loving them the way I want to show it.
Press play to hear more on this topic.
Pretty vulnerable stuff people! Sheesh!
If you want to stick to a moral code, make sure to set up your life to win instead of creating little loopholes that build ways for eventual failure.
In this podcast we talk about what coping skills I use to conquer and prevent anxiety. When you ask yourself “what can I do today to deal with this anxiety?” you can begin to face off with issues that are hanging over your head. Make the to do list, tackle the phone call, resolve conflicts quickly. It’s worth the peace of mind.
Disclaimer: I am not opposed to medicine at all. I know at times it is very necessary. I am just telling you what’s works for me!
Admitting when we’re wrong is the magic eraser of social situations! It’s important to take responsibility when we mess something up, give appropriate credit & honor to others, & learn how to take a compliment. These three things create a safe social environment for the people around us.
Getting in the right fight is a constant battle for us all. The war between priorities, responsibilities, and where to invest our energies is something we need to take seriously.
We need to love ourselves enough to do the tasks that will help us aim toward the life that we’re dreaming of. There is never an ideal time to do anything. If it’s important enough, then there has to be a way to make it happen.
I didn’t recognize myself anymore when I was in one of the darkest places I’ve experienced. When I saw this picture of myself as a little girl I decided to fight through the pain to get back to a place of innocence even though that meant being vulnerable. Now I’m so thankful to be in a healthy, & ultimately, stronger place! There is more to every story we encounter. Let’s give each other the benefit of the doubt as we are all in our own processes working through life!
In this episode we’re talking about hygiene, grooming & staying current as we work to put our best out there to help increase our credibility & effectiveness.
In this episode we talk about how it’s so easy to numb out and become zombified but it’s worth it to show up, be fully present, and start facing off with things everyday.
In this first episode “Get out of Your Comfort Zone” we’re discussing how to stop stacking excuses in front of your progress and start advancing.